The Four Agreements and Energy Practices
The Four Agreements, popularized by best-selling author don Miguel Ruiz aim to
- Promote living a balanced and healthy life.
- Offer clarity during times of conflict, struggle, and confusion.
- Be easily understood, while needing consistent practice for success.
The Four Agreements lead to personal freedom by replacing habits and thoughts that are not helpful with ones that are. Our natural default is to do what we were taught, or what is familiar. But this may not be the smartest, most efficient, or best strategy. We all carry blocks, challenges and impulses that guide our choices. Sometimes chaos and misery follow. We suffer, often needlessly. Ideally, the Four Agreements can assist you with positive changes.
The Four Agreements require a conscious way of speaking, reacting, thinking, and behaving. And energy practices can be combined with the Four Agreements. If your energy and mind and body are calm, focused and in the present, you are more open to change. Let’s see how to combine The Four Agreements with energy practices. You can try this for self-reflection and personal growth. Or share these techniques with others for their self-awareness and improvement.
Introducing The Four Agreements
Don Miguel Ruiz studied his family’s lineage of Toltec (Nahuatl language for artist/artisan) philosophy and practices, from ancient peoples based in Central Mexico. This civilization flourished between the 10th and 12th centuries, influencing the Aztec peoples. Toltec society was vast and complex. Ruiz distilled and popularized four truths he shared in his book The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book). This work fosters emotional well-being, self-transformation, self-enlightenment, and improved relationships. What are the Four Agreements?
1. Be Impeccable with Your Word
The first agreement is about what you say, silently and aloud. To be impeccable means to be without sin. Being impeccable means to not speak against yourself or others. Words create power. Words can bless, and words can curse. We can harness words for good by being intentional, truthful, and positive. Practice this by having your language be in harmony with all. Choose words that say what you mean, with precision. Aim to speak with purity of mind. This is often easier said than done. Words harm or heal. If you gossip or criticize, you divide yourself and others. Instead, seek to unify through integrity or wholeness. You can greatly reduce suffering by following this one agreement.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
This agreement is tricky. We live with the illusion that we are at the center of life. It makes sense. We are living from within our experience. When things happen to us, we may take offense. We might think the world is against us. They did it on purpose. They tried to hurt me. They shouldn’t act this way. Then we defend ourselves. Conflict is likely. Suffering intensifies. Or we are flattered by a compliment. Is the comment about us, or the observer? Ask yourself to perceive the truth.
The Toltec perspective is that in “reality” we are living in a dream, filtered by our own experiences and biases. It is the same for all of us. We see life, good and bad, through a clouded lens. Remembering this illusion reduces the identification of other’s perceptions and actions. Their actions are their story. Yes, the world impacts us, including our own internal judgments. However, our power lies in taking ultimate responsibility for our own beliefs and actions. Don’t take anything personally. Instead, learn from life as an opportunity to work on yourself. Don’t add to the suffering of the world. Burst through the illusion of life by examining your part in the story.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Making assumptions means jumping to conclusions without adequate data. This leads us astray from the truth. Instead, ask questions, be clear with your thoughts. Improve your communication to avoid misunderstandings. Examine your unspoken expectations. Unseat your delusions. Open to being wrong. Seek out the truth, even if it is painful or difficult. Watch, listen, and be ready to change what you think is happening, even within yourself.
4. Always Do Your Best
Invite the best of yourself in each moment. Flow with circumstances, without judgment. For your best yesterday may not be the same as your best today. Let go of expectations that lead to regrets and punishment. Do your best, then move on. When you practice the first three agreements, you speak from truth, you take responsibility for your perceptions, you question your assumptions. Then you can practice it all by doing your best. Prepare to live a different sort of life. Taking direct action means being fully alive in the present. You learn as you go.
Energy Practices and The Four Agreements
To choose impeccable words, you need to be deliberate in thought. Slow down by taking deep breaths, and reflect before speaking. You can use these videos from ACEP’s Resources for Resilience to practice calm breathing, and breathing into balance. With more oxygen to the brain, and time to think, the right words can come to you.
Before you can take personal responsibility for life, without personalizing actions of others and outside events, you need to calm your nervous system. We all get rattled, defensive, tense. Try balance hook up, developed by Wayne Cook, as taught by Donna Eden. You regain an internal signal, let go of static and interference. Then you can try again. See what is your story and what is someone else’s. Act wisely, rather than react out of habit or harm.
Let go of assumptions. Instead, speak clearly and ask questions. But what if your beliefs get in the way? You can use energy psychology, activating meridians while thinking of limiting beliefs. Tap on your beliefs, such as, “people hurt my feelings”, or “I am always left behind”. Or install a new belief such as, “I can find out more before jumping to conclusions”. Try these energy psychology practices, summaries of Emotional Freedom Technique, Thought Field Therapy, and Trauma Tapping Technique.
Always do your best, might be too hard to fathom. Set an intention to flow with what is. Start off with “my best is good enough”. Be your best self now, even if it is not what you want, and then let it go. Stay centered in the present moment with focused intention. You can read these blogs for more ideas using energy practices to be grounded and centered.
Cautions and Discernment
The Four Agreements are, by design, oversimplifications of the complexity of life. They do not apply to all situations. Nor are they always appropriate or necessary. For instance, there are times to be silent, not using your words at all. You can’t always let go of all assumptions. Perhaps the Four Agreements offer clarity, a new perspective, or may be useful. Combine them with other approaches when it is right for you. Try them a bit at a time and see what you learn. Life provides a constant supply of opportunity for growth when you pay attention.
Next Steps for Success
You can learn more about energy practices to boost the Four Agreements. Try an introduction with energy psychology through a starter kit. Take your practice in a new direction by enrolling in training courses, such as EFT or TFT. Brush up on the science of energy healing and ethical practices from experts in the field. If you need assistance in your personal life, find an energy practitioner in your area at the ACEP practitioner directory.
Read these blogs to learn more about meridians and acupoints, the basis of energy psychology. Create your impeccable words with energy psychology in this blog about what to say when “tapping”. If you are caught in conflict, use the Four Agreements and energy practices with healthy tips to disarm difficult situations. Keep going by making a better life for yourself and others. When there is time, will, and focus, there is opportunity for positive change.
Many thanks to Dawn Eidelman, PhD, ACEP’s Executive Director, for the inspiration for this blog.
Author
Lori Chortkoff Hops, PhD, DCEP is a licensed psychologist in Westlake Village, California, USA. She is certified in Comprehensive Energy Psychology and Logosynthesis. Lori is a past ACEP president and Reiki master. Learn more about Lori at www.drlorihops.com. Lori teaches online intuition classes and consultation. Check out her podcast Healing Tips from the Heart: Helpers, Healers and Guides.
